Waves of the sea, washing over me
A smooth meditation, floating out to see
Watch it fly, fly high up in the sky
Fear fading into clouds, so grey
So blue, blue, white and then clear
I see WordPress has changed “New Blog Post” to “Write”.
A simple command.
I pushed the button.
It’s January 3rd, 2017. I’ve been sick since before Christmas. I went to dinner on New Year’s Eve with my roommate (cheese plates, roasted duck, and “that one drink Skot made that one time”). After dinner we went to a quiet little house party. There were two cats, a dog, and a couple humans (Skot not among them). It was nice to be somewhere other than my apartment or cubicle or car. It’s been ages since I’ve been at someone else’s. My life is boring and small; I’m working on it. It’s the start of a new year; a point at which we humans decide enough is enough. When the clock hits 12:00 AM on January 1st, procrastination is a thing of the past. A new year – a new beginning – so that’s what they say.
Outwardly, 2016 looks like a great year. It found me graduating college, traveling overseas, and finding my first job out of college (a great job). I’ve made new friends. I’ve discovered myself in leaps and bounds. I made amazing progress in 2016. But I wasn’t happy. I spent most of it lost in heartache, confusion, doubt, and crushing loneliness.
Well, guess what. Fuck that. 2017 is going to be different. Now that I have my financial situation stabilized and I’m on my own, I’m going to concentrate on making my world as big and rich as I want it to be. I’m going to learn violin again, I’m going to study, I’m going to go somewhere/do something new every week. Listen to more music, go to more concerts, read more books, write more, learn new things, meet new people. Stop hating myself. Now is my time for exploration and expansion; I am finally ready for it. I am tearing down the walls I built myself and I am going to continue making amazing progress.
2017 is going to be my year. It’s not going to be perfect, but it’s a start.
I am going to listen to myself.