Hindsight is a bitch. Reading through old blog posts or journal entries is always… interesting. Did I really write that? Was I really so naive?Experience is indeed the greatest teacher. I have changed so much in the past few months even though I essentially feel the same. I’m sure I’ll be saying that again three months from now. Who knows where I’ll be in three months? I sure as hell don’t.
I wish I could still believe in some universal power that is looking out for our best interest, but I’m pretty sure we are alone and life is random. There is beauty in that also. Enjoy the day that is in front of you. Carpe diem and all that. Crash and burn.
I could list off a whole bunch of wishes for my life right now, but, on this day, I am alive. I will survive.
As for a summary of the factual details of my life this year: got fired from the office job (on St Patrick’s Day), did a couple odd jobs, got an office job that I quit a week later, and now I’m working “part time” in a bakery at a grocery store (“part time” because I worked 51.6 hours the other week but get no full time benefits). I feel like a failure, disappointment, uninsured drop-out, etc. Why the hell did I get a college degree? I’ve always been so hard on myself. Honestly this is the most challenging job I’ve ever had and I’m kicking ass. Most days. I think. At least I am trying to live life. This is just how it goes.
I guess jobs are the only thing I’m willing to discuss at the moment. More to come later?