First days at work

Why hello there! It’s been a while since I’ve provided any sort of update on my new job. I simply don’t have any time anymore! Where does it go? I am amazed by people who have full time jobs and kids and/or school. Are they superheroes? And the people who work two full-time jobs… how is that even possible?

It’s been the good kind of busy, though. I feel important and needed and worthwhile. Empowered, really. I’ve been told I’ll be interacting with the president and CEO quite often, so that’s exciting! I’ve already met the president a couple times and shook his hand, so *squeal*! I started on Tuesday so I’ve worked three full days so far. They’ve been absolutely amazing. Not only is the job itself quite fun but the people I work with are all fun and super nice and friendly! Not to mention supportive. I’ve had people tell me that if I ever have any questions and my boss has stepped away to feel free to ask them and a few people have let me know they’re here for me. The employees take care of each other. Yesterday another girl in my same space got flowers delivered to her and I was the one who got to take them up to her because I had been sitting down at the front desk training with one of the receptionists (he was doing my job before I got here, he had kinda just took the project on even though it wasn’t his job, so he knows all the tricks). It’s such a fun environment!

My boss took me to lunch on Tuesday; apparently the company pays for everybody’s lunch their first day! We went to this really cool salad/bowl place that is now on my favorites list; being on the Paleo diet makes finding a good restaurant a big deal, especially if it has organic options. It’s called Flower Child, if anyone wants to look it up! I got a salad to go last night after work because I was too tired to make food. It was amazing! Tuesday I got the curry bowl with chicken, boiled potatoes, and veggies, and that was great. Anything with potatoes is great.

This week has been a lot of training, talking, and meeting new people. I’m exhausted, all the time. Especially since last night was the first night I actually got 8 hours of sleep (though I woke up feeling like a zombie because my body wanted to sleep for like, 16 more hours).

I set up my signature on my e-mail today and honestly I feel so fancy. My boss said that I’ll probably get business cards in a few months. BUSINESS CARDS. BUSINESS CARDS. CARDS FOR ME A BUSINESS CARD FOR ME MY OWN WOW. And they give all the employees these little tag cards to get into the doors and I clip it onto my belt and feel like the fanciest person on the planet. I feel like my advancement into “mature adult” is on fast-forward!

Also, my boss had me study company material after work on Tuesday and I recited it to her the next morning and she was just blown away, so… *sunglasses emoji*

I’m learning so much! About the company and how to do my job, but also about how to interact with people and present myself. It’s been good! I feel like after a few years of this I’ll have it down pat and be a real professional!

As you can see, I’m feeling pretty optimistic.

Which is good, since I had quite high expectations. I had written a post on Sunday night, but didn’t publish it because I was going to add more (but then didn’t), so I might as well publish what I have now:

9/4

This evening I was feeling morose, depressed, gloomy, anxious, unsettled, etc etc, for no apparent reason.

But as I started thinking about why I might be feeling that way, I realized that my main cause of anxiety – starting my new job on Tuesday – was what I was most excited about, so why was I wasting my time with all these negative feelings? I mean, I’m sure I’m going to be a nervous wreck tomorrow, that’s only normal before starting a new job, but what isn’t normal is wallowing in what feels too much like self pity when there is absolutely nothing to feel pity for.

What I feel now is excitement, gratitude, and pride. I am proud of myself, and I am ever ever so grateful. I’m grateful for the opportunity, the people who led me to it, and the people who gave me a chance. It’s hard to explain, and I hesitate to be this optimistic before I’ve even started the job, but I have a really good feeling about it. I’ve never felt this way before. I mean, this isn’t like my dream job or anything; I’m not getting paid to travel the world and resolve international conflict through my good humor and quick wit, but I feel like this is meant to be. That my life is finally, finally, going in the right direction. Like there is infinite possibility, a world of opportunity,  all starting here. Right now. That if I work hard and be the best possible version of myself, I can do anything. I can have everything I’ve ever wanted. The talent acquisition person I’ve been working with even told me that when my boss eventually moves up, I’ll be in a great position to take over her job, which is just astounding. There might even be possibilities of transferring internationally; my boss and her boss know that’s something that I want. The company is growing quickly and it just seems like there will be so many opportunities. I am so excited to see where this next step in my life will take me!

I also feel pride for the person I am. Like most people in their early twenties, I have been discovering more and more about who I truly am, and you know what? I like that person. There’s a lot of room for improvement, but that’s what makes life exciting. I am living life for me and I am coming to terms with my identity; I am who I am; I like what I like; I am enough, and only I have the power to dictate what that entails. I have lived so much of my life feeling bad for who I am, or wanting to apologize for it. Those days or gone, or at least I live every day trying to be just that much better. I may have a life that seems boring to some, but I have family and friends and a variety of interests that I love. I am excited for when I can buy a vinyl player and start my vinyl collection and grow my book collection and attend symphonies and art shows and musicals and concerts. I am excited to travel, to experience life in new cultures and meet new people, to collect music and books and knowledge in foreign languages. I can’t wait til I have a steady enough income that allows me to do all these things and most importantly, to give back to the people who deserve it so much more than I.

Everything changes, nothing stays the same

Everything changes, nothing stays the same.

I like to think of that as a little life motto. Even the things we would like to keep the same change, like the love shared with another, and that’s okay. Just because love changes doesn’t mean it goes away. It might even end up better in the end – sometimes it’s hard to imagine how much better something could be than it is now,  or was before – but even if it doesn’t, life goes on. Life evolves, people adapt. Things change. That’s just how life is. I take comfort in that fact, and also the fact that as relationships fall apart, others can be built.

And then, of course, the things that we would like to change can, and often do. Just over a week ago I was despairing because I thought I would never find a job. Applying to dozens upon dozens of jobs, never hearing back, further burdening my parents, watching everyone else around me being successful… it was all becoming too much to bear. But now, a week and two interviews later, I have a job!

Yes, I have a job!

It all happened so quickly. My aunt messaged me on Facebook that her daughter was looking for an assistant, I emailed her daughter my resume, she forwarded it to the HR person, he called me and scheduled an interview, I interviewed, he called five days later to schedule a meeting the next day (today) with my boss’s boss, and shortly after that meeting he called and made me an offer. I had to fill out the online application and the thought that I won’t have to fill out any more online applications for quite some time is a good thought indeed. The job hunt is over! I’m scheduled to start September 6th. My pay is more than I expected for my first job out of college and the benefits are amazing – full medical, dental, life insurance, 401k, etc.- and it’s at a growing, international company so there should be good opportunities to advance.

It also feels pretty good to know that there were other candidates that I beat…

So point is, even if you think your life is going nowhere and there’s no hope for you, there is. There really, truly is. You never know what could be just around the corner.

I know that eventually this weird feeling in my chest that keeps me awake at night is going to go away, and that it will come back and go away again, because life changes. It’s okay to not feel okay because nothing stays the same; you just have to have hope.

Pertinent to the topic, one of my favorite quotes, from a man who changed my life:

Don’t give up, don’t give in, there’s always an answer to everything – Louis Zamperini

And one of my favorite songs, a true classic: “We’ll all float on, good news is on its way… Don’t worry, even if things end up a bit too heavy, we’ll all float on”